The TSA: Keeping Us Safe From Women’s Nipple Rings — WARNING: Not Work Safe

(posted by Mona)

This degrading experience must be read to be believed. And what of the fellows with a Prince Albert? Would pliers do the trick? Does the thought make ya squirm, guys? (I mean, if the piercing itself does not, would you want to nervously — and with an audience — perform TSA-approved, quick surgery to remove it?)


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11 Responses to “The TSA: Keeping Us Safe From Women’s Nipple Rings — WARNING: Not Work Safe”

  1. kevin_carson Says:

    Yikes. Considering this is the first photo I know of accompanying a post here, you’ve set the bar pretty high. So to speak. I wondered exactly what a “Prince Albert” was, but I wish now I could forget.

  2. Mona Says:

    Yeah Kevin, I can’t get my head (so to speak) around tender-spot piercings. But if the TSA can demand a woman cut off her nipple rings before boarding her flight (but not her belly-button ring?!), you guys with the Albert thing going on should be next. Gender parity, and all that.

    And more fellows have that . . . adornment than you might suspect. (How I know that is a matter on which I remain mum.)

    In any event, and my risque pic aside, what the TSA here did is many magnitudes worse than confiscating bottles of lotion. We’ve gone nutz in the name of the “war on terror.”

  3. D.A. Ridgely Says:

    Hiya Mona!

    Shows how little web surfing I do these days that I just now discovered your new blogging site.

    I have little to add to your comments here except in response to your “And what of the fellows with a Prince Albert?” Elsewhere on an unrelated topic, I recently quipped “It looks like Larry Craig was just looking for Prince Albert in the can.” No reaction. None at all. I tell you, these kids today! I don’t get no respect!

    Cheers!

  4. Mona Says:

    LOL! Hiya DAR! Yeah, I’m still posting here and at Henley’s — we will be having a variety of libertarian and liberal contributors as time goes on. But we are still “buggy” and this is a place-holder web design. More promo activity can be expected when we are ready for prime time.

    As for Prince Albert, well, let’s just say I knew my ex was going seriously off the deep end and the marriage was near its conclusion when he came home with one. He wasn’t a youth — so it ain’t just these kids today!. And in any event, it is an insane thing to do, IMO.

    But if gummint can coerce we wimmins to remove such ornaments from our secondary sexual characteristics in order to fly the friendly skies, then by all that is holy, your side should sure be required to do so from a primary! :)

  5. D.A. Ridgely Says:

    Now, see, I’m still in favor of entirely buck naked flights. The airlines could just roll paper over the seats like they do at the doctor’s office. These flights wound not only be 100% safe, they’d be much calmer than regular passenger flights. No mother would bring her screaming, crying, whining run-amok children on such a flight, a huge advantage IMHO. Plus, not only would no Muslim at all (ergo, no Islamic terrorist) ever take such a flight, neither would any fundamentalist Christians, eliminating the chances you’d have to sit next to someone trying to convert you the whole flight. It’s a win - win. I say why stop with the shoes! Let’s all strip entirely, flight crew included, and make it so easy for the TSA people (most of whom only took the job because of the stiff competition for assistant manager positions at Denny’s) and then we won’t have to worry about the pilots’ guns accidentally firing, either!

  6. Mona Says:

    Now, see, I’m still in favor of entirely buck naked flights.

    Pffft. Then they’d do routine cavity searches. “Bend over please, Mr. Ridgely,” says the nice TSA attendant, pulling on the latex gloves and aiming a tube of K-Y Jelly at you.

  7. D.A. Ridgely Says:

    Well, me sure, ’cause I’m so cute. But I don’t think even the TSA can find ten thousand people willing to look inside other people’s *ssholes all day! (And, besides, we’d still have to walk through the metal detectors.) ;->

  8. Chris Says:

    Probably TMI, but after seeing that picture I’d say this thread is wide open…

    The picture shows a circular barbell in the PA. That one could be removed simply by unscrewing one of the balls. Easy, as long as you can get enough friction and torque to remove it. The ones that need pliers are captive bead rings, usually the larger gauges. Smaller, thinner rings can be pried open with ones fingers.

    I’ve gone through TSA metal detectors with no problem having both a PA and rings in each nipple, BUT I didn’t get wanded.

    The TSA is richly deserving of a lawsuit on this one. In what universe is having nipple piercings even remotely a threat?

  9. Paige Says:

    What is it with nipples and airlines? Remember the recent case where a mother was told to stop breastfeeding her infant during a flight? Maybe the piercing was just an exacerbated instance of nipplephobia? I mean, they’re offensive enough unadorned (and nurturing life), right?

  10. D.A. Ridgely Says:

    The TSA is richly deserving of a lawsuit on this one. In what universe is having nipple piercings even remotely a threat?

    [insert chipped tooth joke here]

  11. Mona Says:

    [insert chipped tooth joke here]

    Case dismissed: risk assumed by presumptively eager defendant.

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